Everyone has told me that boys love their mommy and Im sure he does but I wish he didnt do that because like the other moms on this site, it really hurts my feelings. should i just let her be with whoever she wants to be with? A few weeks back she was ill and I stayed at home to look after her. But they have become my competitors And I start having bad feeling towards them. His dad loves him but truly has done 15% of all that I do for the baby (feed, clean, entertain, Best of luck. What scares me the most is that I dont want her to start having tantrums when she cant get what she wants. Starting earlier is sometimes suggested to prevent bottle refusal. Many babies go through periods when only one of the parents will do it can be either the mom or the dad. And since then, everytimes she sees my friend, she follows her instead of me. And I suspect it isnt helping your wife either. When he was 4-6 mos, a friend was holding him and he didnt want to come back to me when I asked for him. For example, dinner time could be a point in time where after your mom stays away from your daughter as much as possible. Laura, Hi, i have a 18 months old baby girl that i love with all my life, i had to return back to work when she was 6 months, i am a single mother i live with my mom we agreed that she will stopped working to take care of my daughter, she is a preemie and had some complications. You can do it. everyone will try to get him to say it and he just stares blankly at me, he does not want me to hold him, kiss him, or hug him! Hi all i am the farther to my 15 month old son & he is a loving child at home but as soon has we go to his Nana & granddads house he doesnt want to no me. Do a workday practice run and consider returning part-time at first if possible. Id say that is completely normal! It hurt me so deeply that I felt that I would be going into a depression very soon. but around the age of 8 or 9 months she just would prefer other peopleshe would go with anyoneI was hurt and devastated. Offensively taken, it means that im not a good mother!? However, since you have only been her mother for 1 week and a half, it is too early to start worrying about the bonding going wrong. Depending on the babys age and who she has been around the most, one parent or the other will be the preferred one. Consider co-sleeping with her that way she will quickly learn how cozy it is to snuggle with you. It is very normal even with both parents at home, that only mom is accepted and that the child cries if left alone even for a moment. Goodness! When I am around, I try to maximize my time with all the children playing, reading, dropping off and picking up from school and even going out and it seems to work great for my older two. Every experience is different, but generally, it takes around six weeks to feel relief from most postpartum symptoms after having a baby. So, maybe this isnt something thats recognized by a small child, but its eventually recognized, in my opinion. in the morning when she wakes up, she doesnt even smile at me anymore. As you say, youre the one who has been there for her all her life and still is in many ways, and now youre suddenly gone much more. Hi Im a step father an I have a little boy who is 2 now an I been in his life since he was three months old. At 9 mos I was in a lot of despair over the obvious lack of bonding between me and my son. Even if its only by God and me I suppose. Fertility benefits increase loyalty, productivity, and fulfillment. It did not used to be this way she used to be very attached to me. i also wrote here several months ago. I've tried Philips avent, pigeon and now using hegen. It may take a few tries for that method to work. Mom is getting really depressed with this and is the reason for many of the heated arguments between us. Another aspect is that neither you nor your son seems to be comfortable with the role you have right now. I am so sorry to hear about your situation and your pain. It hurts. Welcome to Easy Baby Life your one-stop shop for positive parenting tips and tools from pregnancy and on! Because I was in a very bad place myself over this issue, I understand your pain and encourage you in the strongest terms to get support for yourself. You can read more about baby development at different months here. I feel your pain. I sometimes wish that I could die and I admit that there are times when I have seen all my competitors as my enemies and I wanted to hurt my own child out of jealousy..But then I would never do that..My relationship with my husband and his family is degrading day by day..And I regret having married him at all even though he is the best husband and dad ever..I dont know what is happening to me!! Unfortunately she has developed a deep bond with my mother (as to be expected) and not me. Hope this gives someome some encouragement Things really do get better with time. she is three now. And I really hope that this is just a phase that she is going through. Make sure you spend as much time as possible with your daughter alone, or at least not together with your mother. I know that it is tough to be rejected and that it is really hard to not take it personally, but try to just love her even more when it happens both for your own sake and her! I am a stay at home mom, I give her stimulation when she wants it by giving her tummy time or playtime with me or her bouncy. A wonderful thing to do in periods like this, is to spend time alone with the child. Toddler Rejecting Mom After New Baby. But when I worked at being breezy, he seemed to want to be around me again. It really upsets me because her dad or greatgrandmother can get her when she starts doing this to me and she is fine. tis always lead me n my husband to quarrel ..i cant slp goes i am really very very deep down crying n dying. She wants me over anybody except when they are around. except some weekends I have to work away from home (Overnight). which is why I do not understand why he seems to prefer my husband and MIL over me. He cries when I try to do anything for him and wont look at me. (And by all means, get the same kind of time alone with your three year old too!). hi.. i am a mother of 6 month old twin boys. Work with your boss and colleagues to cover your workload and ease the transition. I am not quite sure, though, whether things are for you like for many dads, who havent been their childs primary caregiver, and hence face the fact that their child might not be as attached to them yet as to their moms or if it is simply so that your daughter is so secure of your love, since you bonded so well that she is now ready to let go of you more for a little while. I think for young babies, being reminded of the other parent can be too painful to endure. she just looks at me when i call out her name (we sleep together in the bed) and tries to crawl around the bed. Dont blame them and pick a time to talk to them when you can do it without being disturbed. My daughter prefers my mother, as she looks after her while Im at college. Why does she prefer her father when he can go a whole week without ever seeing her? She dribbled a lot of it out at first and he said she fussed a little a couple of times, but she does good now. Im teaching and comes back home in the early evening. From the day he was born (and Im his birth mother for heavens sake!) You know, we have to accept it, applaud their development and let them go. This still happens when, for example, he seems disinterested in me when I pick him up from daycare. I do that almost everyday, and shes fine and enjoys playing with me when were home together; again, its when her Dad comes home or when Grampy and/or Aunt Mel come over that she wants nothing to do with me. I try so hard singing songs, playing games etc, but it seems to make no difference. Lots of quiet, cuddly games with your little one on your lap. Since she was born my parents have always been around helping and visiting. So it did happen, but it took awhile and, like I wrote before, he still prefers my partner maybe 60-70% of the time (again only when the stark choice is between us only). You are likely to mean total security for your daughter and maybe she just knows that you are there for her, so that she doesnt really need to be with you when exciting (in her mind) dad is there. Just today, my mom was over and when she left, my son just wailed. If this board is any indication it happens quite a bit. I did everything a mom should do with their child. But those 6 weeks were rough for everyone involved, and baby's gotta eat! (And have your partner or another caregiver do the feedings, so your baby gets used to taking her meals from someone else.) My daughter just turned one. I am depressed. Honestly, I feel like there must be something inherently wrong with me for my own (9 month) baby not to love me as much as my partner. Try feeding with cool or alternatively warmed milk. I am super worried about our long term relationship and bonding. While he seems to love me insofar as he smiles at me and reaches for me, he doesnt really notice if I leave to go in to another room or whatever. You and your wife disagree on how to deal with several issues regarding your son and you take on the role of being the one disciplining him. In conclusion, it is a painful when a baby rejects mom or dad. That is an excellent way to allow the two of you to bond. Shes the most amazing thing in the world. Rather the contrary; that you have helped him become so secure that he is now ready to face the world. Even if i hold my hand out for her, she clings to my MIL and my husband. Before we know it they are even out of the house. I feel bad for the child. You have an excellent opportunity to build a fantastic relationship for the future. I dont want this to have any lasting affects on our long term relationship. i so wanted to be a mom and was so happy to have her that i never thought i would be such a failure. Hello- Im the mother who wrote when my son was 9 mos and again at 12 mos. Well, disobeing the court orders she left with the child to another state without any communication or notice of where she was going. So the legal battles began, the mother finally got a job after 2 years (shes 37) and he was finally able to reduce the child support from $1600 a month to $800 since the mother should have been able to pay for her personal expenses. I feel like a bad mom. I have a 14.5 month old baby girl. She is also my miracle child since I have a problem to conceive. Since attachment can be an issue for adopted children, your question and worries really show what an engaged new mother you are. I nursed him up until a month ago. She is almost 10 months old. I am in the same position yet I do not work. My husband sees him an hour per day if that and goes out of town a lot. Take care of yourself during this time. I dont know what to do. She gets hysterical if I take her off him. He is adorable such an angel baby, doesnt cry unless hungry, sleeps all night from 3 months, ready with a smile. Im happy and relieved to report that our little one is no longer preferring one parent over another. May I ask how your relationship is when dad is not around? baby rejecting mom after going back to work Many babies act the same way as your daughter punishing the one who left her. Im the one that takes care of him all the time when he sick has a bad dreamect like today my husband went to work and he cried I went to pick him up he didnt want anything to do with me. blessings to you all. Try to let her keep it any way you can (but not on the phone for such a little girl). Please help! she cries alot wen i pick her back from wrk . He didnt want to talk to his dad when he was with his mom either. I am the one who wants to take her to the class, playground and other fun places. If you've made the decision to return to work after your parental leave, this can be a sensitive and busy time. He goes to grandma no matter what but me no its very hard not to get upset but I cant even write a sentence without crying now. He is great with me on my own we play cuddle and take him to the park a lot. Its my first baby and this hurts sooo much inside seeing it happen everyday. She is having a tough time, but please let her know that this really is a normal development stage. If you can accept that OK, right now she prefers her dad, but that doesnt mean that I am bad or that she hates me. I just left my 4-month-old son for the first time overnight with my parents. should i stop my caregiver from sleeping next to her to maybe stop them from being too close? I am a dad in the same boat. Consider your overall financial picture. Secondly, your daughter does not hate you. His granddad plays with him every minute he gets with him. I am feeling so rejected and lonely. Its easy to be an outsider giving advice, but take it from someone who felt similarly rejected by her own child, I really urge you to consider seeking help and support from a source not on the inside of your situation. I also had postpartum for the first 3 or 4 mos and I actually do think that had a role in the bonding problems I had with my baby. We have great fun when its just the two of us, playing and laughing. Seems to be a bit of a pattern in the posts that I have read from you all. What can I do? My son is 18 mos old. Since I read your post I have been praying for you every day. Things will get better. She even slapped me in the face. This just isnt what I envisioned my relationship with my daughter to be, I want her to want me, but dont understand why she doesnt. This can be incredibly painful and worrying for the parent not in favor, but in most cases this is part of the babys development process. Your son loves you no less because he enjoys the company of his grandma. They fidget a lot or hate getting messy. My youngest daughter is almost 2 years old. After her leather boots and Gucci throw shopping spree she was obviously not able to pay her rent. Thank you for letting us know that things got better, it has made all the difference to me. When he's with me. I found the update posts from those parents who were in this situation and came out the other side especially helpful. Really make sure that you put away all your worried, frustrated feelings when interacting with your daughter. What i am trying to say is dont u think that his granddad is trying his god damn hardest to take my farther figure away & take my bond away. When my husband and I return from work (both at the same time) he always searches for his father and greets him with a big smile, as for me he ignores me completely and I am the one that plays with him most. Try feeding in a close and cuddled up position. Nursing strikes happen for many reasons. Jemma. You might feel really, really sad about going back to work, but you might also feel really excited. Ignore the unwanted behaviour and praise the good an all that but God its hard when my feelings are in shreds. i work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. I am in the same boat. Six weeks is the average length of time needed for a mom to recover after giving birth. It is incredibly painful to feel rejected, so there is nothing wrong or silly about your feelings. Not a good feeling. I sing endless versions of Wheels on the Bus, and a million other things. I am an older mom (41 years old). Take a bath the three of you, cuddle up together for a nighttime story and go out having fun together. Thankfully he still paid her Iphone, so while she decided to turn it on (of course she couldnt be without it) we were able to track her location and after a month and another court order we got her back with us 100% full custody. By the time all my training was done may daughter was 14 months old and had been with my mother the entire time. But if we can handle it as adults, and give our children both love and space no matter what, I am certain that our long-term relationship AND bother their and our personal development will benefit. I can see other parents are having similar problems, so maybe it is something she will grow out of in time. And my dad is simply crazy about her. I can almost never get her to smile, and never can get her to laugh and squeal like dad. If must be terribly hard to be away so much from your family and then come home and not feel welcome. 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